What To Do When Your Life Is In Shambles

December 2012.

While the rest of the world was frantically worrying whether the Mayan’s were right, I was dealing with my own personal doomsday.

During the first week of December 2012, everything I had spent four years creating, collapsed into absolute shambles.

My relationship was done-zo. My career was over. I knew I didn’t want to be a reporter anymore, but what I actually DID want to do remained an elusive mystery.

I was broken-hearted and job-less. I spent most days in a dissociated daze just going through the motions. My future totally freaked me out. I could barely decide what I wanted for dinner, let alone what I wanted to do with my life.

It was sad. It was scary. It totally sucked.

MY LIFE WAS IN COMPLETE SHAMBLES.

And holy shit am I EVER GRATEFUL I went through that mess. Because you know what? It shaped me into the person I am today.

As my mentor, Danielle LaPorte says, “Getting off track is essential for growth.”

My plans were totally derailed. But in dealing with the aftermath, I uncovered truths about myself that had been hidden all of my life. I began to think more deeply about what I wanted, and more importantly, who I wanted to be. I reconnected with my spirituality and really began designing my life with intention and meaning.

So if you’re reading this because well… your life is in shambles too, CONGRATULATIONS.

The universe has shaken you to awaken you.

And you totally have what it takes to pick up the pieces and figure it out.

I promise that if you march through this mess with love in your heart and curiousity in your mind, you will emerge a much happier human being. That’s the truth.

5 Steps to Getting it Together When Your Life Falls Apart

# 1) Ask for help.

We’re all in this together. When you’re feeling desperate, don’t be a hero and try and solve your problems alone. It’s likely that attitude is what got you into this shambly mess in the first place! There’s nothing weak about reaching out and asking for help. It actually takes great strength to embrace vulnerability and accept support. Anything keeping you in the space of “I can do this by myself” is just your ego going ballistic.

Remember you’re perfect and you’ve got nothing to prove.

Talk to people you trust. Request help from a higher power. Ask and you’ll receive exactly what you need. Trust me on this.

# 2) Connect to your Inner Guru

Deep within, we all know what’s best for ourselves. I’ve experienced this truth in my own life and with my coaching clients. When going through chaos, it’s so important to make time for space and stillness. Even though your ego will be going into over-drive urging you to act, act, act, it’s really important that you’ve checked in with your intuition to make sure your actions are actually in alignment with what’s best for you. When we’re stressed our thinking is unclear.

So before you start picking up the pieces, tap into your intuition. Ask for guidance then meditate for a few minutes or free-write in your journal. Then, pay attention to the guidance you receive.

# 3) Focus on the present moment

When everything is falling apart it can be so tempting to think that our whole life is ruined. We future trip and get lost in all of the opportunities we destroyed or chances we missed because of the mess we’re in today. DON’T GO THERE.

Instead ground yourself in the present moment. Think of only of the here and now and what you can do in this moment to better your situation. Don’t go down What-If Street and get lost there for an hour. Nobody wins on What-if Street.

All of your power exists right here in the present moment, so use it now.

# 4) Help someone in need.

As my beautiful mentor, Marianne Williamson, says, “When you’re feeling helpless, help someone.” There are times in our lives where we truly feel helpless, like we’ve got nothing left to even give. While this feeling can be jarring, it’s never true. We always have something to give.

By taking the focus off what’s going wrong in our own lives and shifting our attention to helping someone else, we begin to realize our problems aren’t so big. We’re also banking some nice karma and elevating our energy. Triple win.

So when you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed out in your own life, reach out and help someone. It feels really, really good to give.

# 5) Get clear on WHO you want to BE and embody that energy.

When life collapses into shambles, one thing’s clear: this is not where you want to be. Okay, great. So now it’s time to think about who it is you DO want to BE. If the shit-sandwich you’re currently dealing with sucks, what do you wish you were experiencing in life instead? In what ways do you wish your life was different?

Spend some time creating a vision for yourself. Get crystal clear on who you want to be, then begin to embody that energy. How would future, better you be handling this situation? What would she do? Act in alignment with who it is you are becoming.

With love,

Alex