I met a cool new friend (who also happens to be a life coach) last week for coffee at my favorite sidewalk café, The Black Walnut. As someone who runs the majority of their business online, the chance to share stories and open up to somebody in person was soooo refreshing and illuminating.
We spent nearly two hours soul chatting about life, business and the process of change. It left me with some powerful insights into the raw truth of what it actually takes to create change in our lives.
And it’s a bit scary. Hear me out…
Have you ever tried to make a change? Tried to wake up earlier? Start a daily yoga practice? Quit smoking? Launch your own business? Find a romantic partner? Move to a new place?
I think on some level all of us are craving some sort of positive change. We’d like more time, freedom or money. We crave more connection, love and adventure. We desire fulfillment, excitement and happiness.
In short: we want more.
So what is it that holds us back? What causes us to resist doing what we so often know we need to do to get us more of what we want?
It’s simple: we fear the dip.
The dreaded dip in happiness that will occur when we leave the comfort of what we know to step into the bold new territory of the unknown.
The inevitable frustration we will encounter when we try something new. The no-way-around-it disappointment we will feel when we first taste failure.
The embarrassment, the ego-bruising, the fear. Yeah… THAT stuff, the stuff that does nahhhhhht feel good. The stuff we built entire lives around avoiding. Yeah, unfortunately,… that’s the stuff you’re going to have to deal with if you want to make that change. And it scares you. So you stay still.
But these experiences are a part of life – a necessary part of your human experience.
If you live your life constantly trying to avoid these scary feelings, you’ll shrink, build walls, create barriers and make excuses that will keep you safe and small. And that’s no way to live. Not for a soul like you.
So please, take the dip.
Give yourself permission to fall down, mess up and make mistakes so that you can learn the lessons, discover the wisdom and develop the skills required to make big things happen in your life.
And don’t beat up on yourself when you fuck up. In fact, don’t even be surprised when you fuck up, fall off track or forget to do thing you were going to do. Because, it’s going to happen.
Be kind, gentle and compassionate. Keep your mind and heart open. Allow the process of change to shape you into the version of yourself you’re longing to become.
And I promise, you’ll get there.